var quotes=new Array()

quotes[0]='Don\’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you\’re ahead, sometimes you\’re behind…the race is long, and in he end, it\’s only with yourself.<i>-Baz Luhrmann</i>'

quotes[1]='what ever you do, don\’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else\’s.<i>-Baz Luhrmann</i>'

quotes[2]='A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.<i>-Honore de Balzac</i>'

quotes[3]='It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time. <i>-Honore de Balzac</i>'

quotes[4]='A lover always thinks of his girl first and himself second with a husband it runs the other way.<i>-Honore de Balzac</i>'

quotes[5]='To catch a husband is an art to hold him is a job.<i>-Simone de Beauvoir</i>'

quotes[6]='"Age is no guarantee of maturity."<i>-Lawana Blackwell</i>'

quotes[7]='Nothing lowers the level of conversation more than raising the voice.<i>-Stanley Horowitz</i>'

quotes[8]='Any person capable of angering you becomes your master he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.<i>- Epictetus</i>'

quotes[9]='At first dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable.<i>- Christopher Reeve</i>'

quotes[10]='Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with the success of a friend.<i>-Oscar Wilde</i>'

quotes[11]='Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.<i>-Mark Twain</i>'

quotes[12]='"The husband who wants a perfect marriage should keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open."<i>-Groucho Marx</i>'

quotes[13]='Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.<i>-Groucho Marx</i>'

quotes[14]='Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.<i>-Bertrand Russell</i>'

quotes[15]='Women like silent men. They think they are listening.<i>-Marcel Achard</i>'

quotes[16]='All men profess honesty as long as they can. To believe all men honest would be folly. To believe none so is something worse.<i>-John Quincy Adams</i>'

quotes[17]='There is only one situation I can think of in which men and women make an effort to read better than they usually do. It is when they are in love and reading a love letter.<i>-Mortimer Adler</i>'

quotes[18]='Don\’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. <i>-Baz Luhrmann</i>'

quotes[19]='There are two kinds of fools: those who can not change their opinions and those who will not.<i>-Josh Billings</i>'

quotes[20]='24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence? I think not."<i>- H.L. Mencken</i>'

quotes[21]='I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and bought jewelry.<i>-Rita Rudner</i>'

quotes[22]='Clever and attractive women do not want to vote they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.<i>-George Bernard Shaw</i>'

quotes[23]='Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.<i>-Oscar Wilde</i>'

quotes[24]='Men always want to be a woman\'s first love - women like to be a man\'s last romance.<i>-Oscar Wilde</i>'

quotes[25]='There\'s a basic human weakness inherent in all people which tempts them to want what they can\'t have and not want what is readily available to them.<i>-Robert J. Ringer</i>'

quotes[26]='The only really happy folk are married women and single men.<i>-H. L. Mencken</i>'

quotes[27]='Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn\'t they\'d be married too.<i>-H. L. Mencken</i>'

quotes[28]='When men and women agree, it is only in their conclusions their reasons are always different.<i>-George Santayana</i>'

quotes[29]='I don\'t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who\'d be mad at me for saying that.<i>-Mitch Hedberg</i>'


function returnQuotes () {
var whichquote=Math.floor(Math.random()*(quotes.length))
	quotes[whichquote];
	document.write(quotes[whichquote]);
}